Tasty avocado flesh.

Finely chopped onion, cilantro, and jalapeno.

Finely chopped onion, cilantro, and jalapeno.

So, in keeping with the theme of “lifestyle blog,” I figured I should paint for you a well-rounded picture of my, well, lifestyle. To be more specific, I will make the following proclamation.


Sure, it’s nothing original. But lately I’ve been doing my best to make what I eat balanced, healthy, colorful, and also quite tasty. Also, I’m inspired by the food-related genius of this lovely lady, and I wanted to take my own crack at blogging a simple recipe.

I make no claims to originality, as the recipe came directly from here. However, it did turn out quite tasty. Also, as winter ambles along with its grey days and windy bluster, bright green pretty foods that make bright green pretty pictures and taste delicious to boot make me feel happy. So here’s the easiest guac recipe in the world, in four simple images. The above depicts the three important non-avocado ingredients, and if you’re like me you’ll enjoy chopping that stuff up into itty-bitty pieces and then carefully grouping it together to take pictures of it. No, just me? Very well then.


Mix and mash everything together - I used a muddler.

Mix and mash everything together – I used a muddler.

Then you want to mix those ingredients together, right on your cutting board, and salt the crap out of them. THEN comes another fun part – start mashing everything together with a mortar and pestle, the flat part of your knife, or if I am your idol, you will use a muddler. (Bought specifically by the boyfriend for making Mad Men-esque Old Fashioneds. I am less excited by whiskey with pulverized fruit rind at the bottom than I am by smooshed avocados.) After everything gets all juicy and flirty together, you can add a bit more salt and some lime juice. Again, if you’re like me, you’ll go heavy on the lime and warily add more salt than you think is necessary, but it will be worth it.

Cubed avocado flesh. You can smash it up roughly with a fork, but it should be CHUNKY.

Cubed avocado flesh. You can smash it up roughly with a fork, but it should be CHUNKY.

The hardest part of making guac, for me, has always been finding avocados soft enough. I have no patience for letting things ripen, my friends. None. So when I saw that avocados are EVERYWHERE right now, and they are soft like baby skulls, that was the catalyst for this post. To make this a legitimate recipe, let me break it down for you: I used three avocados, one whole jalapeno, approximately half of a decent-sized onion, and a packet described as a “single serving” of cilantro. You’ll just have to taste and use your own preferences to decide how much salt and lime juice you want up in that biz.

Anyway, after your avocados are cubed and halfheartedly mashed (the key to this recipe is chunky, CHUNKY green stuff) you can mix everything up and taste test in case you might need some more salt or lime juice. (Oh, btw, I used the bottled stuff because we already had it. If you use a real lime I tip my hat to you.) Below, the finished product:

The finished product.

The finished product.

Instagrammed to perfection, and totally tasty besides! And even better, I didn’t eat it all in one sitting, so I can enjoy some in the next few days! Truth time: I actually have no idea how long fresh guacamole is supposed to keep for, but I never let it sit around for more than two days, maybe three. In theory, citrus and salt are preservatives, and I’ve never gotten sick from it, so I can’t be that far off? I am SUCH an expert, guys. I should have just titled this post “The Idiot’s Guide to Guacamole.”

3 Responses to “Tasty avocado flesh.”
  1. fissionerror says:

    soft like baby skulls… your avocado analogy has me aroused. like, literally.


  2. Jbooty says:

    I now expect you to make this for me.


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